Noticing the Change: Navigating Family Conversations This Holiday Season

The holidays are often the only time of year when extended families gather under one roof. While these moments are filled with tradition, they can also be a wake-up call. When you haven't seen a loved one in months, subtle shifts in their physical health or mental clarity suddenly become much more apparent.In a recent episode of the Caregiving Conversations podcast, host Amy Chinn, of OneAmerica Financial, sat down with licensed clinical social worker Jody Hirst to discuss how to handle these realizations with grace.

The "Three C’s" Framework

If you notice that a parent or relative "isn't quite themselves," it can be daunting to bring it up. Chinn and Hirst suggest using the three C’s to guide your approach:

1. Compassion: Enter the conversation with empathy rather than judgment. Acknowledge that aging and loss of independence are difficult transitions.
2. Connection: Prioritize the relationship first. Make sure your loved one feels seen and valued as a person, not just as a "problem" to be solved.
3. Caregiving: Recognize that caregiving often starts small. You might already be acting as a caregiver without realizing it—by managing a schedule, helping with a meal, or keeping track of medications.

Starting the Conversation

The goal isn't to fix everything over a single holiday dinner. Instead, focus on these three strategies for a productive dialogue:

• Choose the Right Moment: Avoid heavy discussions in the middle of a noisy party. Find a quiet, private time where everyone feels relaxed.
• Listen with Curiosity: Instead of telling your loved one what they need, ask open-ended questions about how they are feeling or if they’ve found certain tasks more difficult lately.
• Include Them in the Process: Dignity is vital. Ensure your loved one is a primary participant in any decisions regarding their future care.

Identifying the Early Signs

Being a proactive advocate means knowing what to look for. Changes in hygiene, a cluttered home that was once tidy, or uncharacteristic forgetfulness are all indicators that it might be time to discuss extra support.

By recognizing these signs early and approaching them with the three C's, you can turn a moment of concern into a foundation for a supportive future.